I’ve been away from this blog for quite some time – thank you crazy, hectic life! But enough is enough and I have literally reached my breaking point in life. I am a creative at heart and need some type of outlet and with my life the way it has been lately, I haven’t had that outlet. I can feel that crazy panic start to set it. What has been going on with me lately, you ask? Well, my mother was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of breast cancer at the beginning of the year (she just finished her last chemo treatment and heads into surgery soon!). Everything that could go wrong – started going wrong! Work has been more demanding and has started adding a new level of stress (plus have I mentioned the hour drive to and from work? Fun times! 2 hours of my day wasted 5 days a week, lovely). Sales are up and of course everyone wants them to continue to go up and up but you know, sometimes, just sometimes, sales follow a pattern! That’s a rant for another day and someone else!
So to start this blog again and well, to start blogging again, I thought I would share some details about me!
Hmmmm, you know, I have sat here and sat here, wasting minute after minute, trying to think of something clever and witty to say. Well it just really isn’t coming to me. I suck, plain and simple, maybe, not really? At least in my little world, maybe I don’t suck too much. In a nutshell, I’m a 30 something female that is just stuck. I want to go right but I keep getting pulled to the left, if that makes any sense.
So I’m happily married, have an ok job, a crappy house and 3 lovely dogs. Sometimes my husband can be annoying and he will say the same about me. My house isn’t great but it will do… for now! Its certainly not magazine worthy, hell I’m beginning to think it might be demolition worthy with all these little “issues” that have appeared recently. My job, ugh, well it pays the bills? Some of them at least, so that is something, right? And ok, so what if one of my dogs has MAJOR anxiety issues, the other is a complete diva (she will shank you if you stop petting her) and well the youngest, she is just a big ball of love. It all comes together to form the American Dream, in some form or fashion, I think?
Like most people I have a love affair for all things that are pretty but are not affordable. I dream about making it big – hello lottery winnings – of being someone that calls all the shots, I am over 21 so technically I can call some! Har, har, right? I think I have come to realize those things aren’t really what is important though. No, I am not going to go into a spiel about how important love, life and family are. You should know that already and you should also know that some family members are extremely annoying, life can be exhausting at times and love, well, oh boy, that’s a tough one and always will be. I’m not really sure what I dream about anymore. Actually no, I take that back, I dream about doing something every day that brings happiness into my life. I also dream that in a few years, I can look back and say to myself I didn’t waste any time and I actually did something.
My twenties were a waste, how does that saying go “Youth is wasted on the young”, if that isn’t the truth, I don’t know what is. Ok, ok, maybe not a “total” waste. I did meet my husband, finish undergrad, and make some really good friends. I feel like my twenties were more of waste in the sense that I didn’t experiment with what I actually wanted to do WITH my life. I just accepted what was put in front of me as what I should be doing and I never questioned it. Now, I am sitting here every day asking myself, “Is this REALLY how I want to spend the rest of my life?!” and the answer is “No!” I want to be out there doing something, making a difference somewhere, doing anything other than sitting behind a desk 8 hours a day, making a company profitable and with only a sliver of window to see the outside world.
This just isn’t me and basically, that is what I want this blog to be about – me finding me. Finding my happiness, my drive, my inspiration, my style, myself. Balancing my love for all things Preppy and my love for all things not so preppy! So basically this may start out very random but hopefully it will being to take some form over time. I apologize now if I bore you but I do hope I can connect with some of you and maybe over time we can help each other out.